


My Trunk is Your Junk

by ineedthislikeaholeinthehead



Category: American Actor RPF, British Actor RPF, The Hobbit RPF
Genre: M/M, Sexy Underwear, attempted sexy underwear, well not really sexy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-26
Updated: 2015-12-26
Packaged: 2018-05-09 12:15:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5539622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ineedthislikeaholeinthehead/pseuds/ineedthislikeaholeinthehead
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Richard gives Lee a “sexy” surprise.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Trunk is Your Junk

**Author's Note:**

  * For [gigglingmuse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gigglingmuse/gifts).



> I was NOT looking at these. They popped up in a normal, every day internet search. (this link is naughty, probably NSFW)  
> http://www.adameve.com/lingerie/mens-wear/mens-g-strings-and-thongs/sp-my-trunk-in-your-junk-g-strin-100717.aspx
> 
> Here is a (partial) transcript of my conversation with Mrs. 
> 
> Me: I have no reason...i can't explain it...But Richard got this to wear for Lee  
> Wife: Head canon accepted

Richard immediately recognized the package sitting at his front step. He quickly scooped it up and managed to get it inside his flat before anyone walked by and caught him blushing. He didn’t need to, he was a full grown man. Even if it wasn’t absurd to be embarrassed about being a grown man in a serious relationship receiving a box of lube, the box was covered in discreet paper. There was no one- save Superman- who would know what was inside.

Even so, it was here, so Richard decided he would put it away rather than keep a box of lube sitting around the place. Except, it wasn’t a box of lube. Well.. it was. But apparently, somehow, their order had been augmented. Richard double checked the receipt. Nothing looked off from his regular order, and yet, someone at the shop had decided that, on top of his usual order, Richard and Lee apparently needed a g-string. 

And not just any underwear at that. Richard pulled it out to inspect the ludicrous thing. It was red, and, good lord, it was meant to fit quite snugly, two googly eyes right up front, and ears on the sides, apparently to create the illusion of an elephant. It was positively absurd, and Richard had no idea what would possess anyone to purchase such a thing. But he couldn’t compel himself to throw away a free gift, no matter how completely useless, so he tossed it to the back of his sock drawer to be forgotten. 

Forgotten, that is, until a few days later, when Lee and he were on the couch, watching a terrible movie (Lee’s choice, Richard always attempted to watch at least halfway decent movies, but Lee didn’t care what they watched, as long as there was popcorn and soda and they were cuddled up close under a blanket). The very pretty girl on screen found herself in the position to seduce someone, creating the wonderful opportunity for her to walk out in a slinky nightie that accentuated everything just magnificently. 

“You know,” Lee started between snacks. “It really isn’t fair.” 

“What isn’t fair?” 

“You know.. Girls get everything.”

“Except for equal pay, equal representation, and equal say over what they do with their bodies,” Richard says with a chuckle. 

“Oh, that’s not what I meant. I just meant... If I was a girl-”

“Oh, this is going in an interesting direction.”  
“Shhhh, Let me finish. If I was a girl, and i wanted to do something special for you, I could just sit around on the couch in something like that and wait for you to come home.”

Richard swallowed his popcorn before responding. 

“You could still do that.” 

“Yeah, because I could even find something like that that would fit me.” 

Richard just shrugged.

“And it doesn’t give the same effect, you know?” 

Richard takes a drink, then gets up. 

“Where are you going?” 

“I’ll be right back.” 

“But that doesn’t tell me where you’re going.” Lee yells back as Richard ignores him and walks to the bedroom, emerging a few minutes later in nothing but the incredibly uncomfortable elephant pants. When Lee saw him his eyes light up, and Richard attempted to hide his incredible discomfort. 

“Is this the sort of thing you were thinking of?” He asks, fidgeting profusely. 

Lee’s eyes are huge, and his mouth is almost visibly watering, but Richard is still waiting for him to burst out laughing. 

“I.. yeah. I mean, there were less googly eyes involved.. but… how did you… why did you get this?”

“Lee, do you honestly think I would ever get something like this?”

“Well, you are wearing it.”

“It was a gift.”

“I’m a little nervous that you’re accepting gifts like this.”

“It came with the lube, Lee.” 

“Well, lucky us.”

“Lucky for who? This thing is bloody terrible.”

“Doesn’t look terrible to me.”

“It’s too tight.”

“No surprise there.” Lee says, a big smile on his face.

“I can’t believe this is working for you.”

“Do you want to take them off?”

“Of course I do!”

“Then take them off!” 

Richard started pulling at the sides. 

“But first,” He momentarily stopped. “Make the elephant noise.” 

And with that, Richard rolled his eyes, and quickly pulled off the ludicrous pants and threw them at Lee before storming off to the bedroom. 

“See if I ever make an effort for you.” He says. 

Lee hops up and follows him, laughing. 

“But, Richard, it was really hot!”

**Author's Note:**

> Everyone agrees that Richard would have to order lube online because he'd be too nervous to walk into an adult shop alone to get it, right? (Also, it's cheaper!) 
> 
> Though... the thought of Lee pulling Richard into a porn store from time to time sounds like a lot of fun...Who wants to write it?


End file.
